|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| ||*********************************************************************|| || Nigga Go See a Movie || || Presents: || || || || Bible Shid || || -by Draxamus || || || ||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|| ************************************************************************* Introduction -------------- I have selected a few verses from the Bible to share with you. After each selection I will offer my own small interpretation. I will be using the New American Bible's translations. Note: The New American Bible includes footnotes on certain verses, so I have included the footnotes for those verses that have them. Exodus 31:12-15 ---------------- The LORD said to Moses "You must also tell the Israelites: Take care to keep my sabbaths, for that is to be the token between you and me throughout the generations, to show that it is I, the LORD, who make you holy. Therefore, you must keep the sabbath as something sacred. Whoever desecrates it shall be put to death. If anyone does work on that day, he must be rooted out of his people. Six days there are for doing work, but the seventh day is the sabbath of complete rest, sacred to the LORD. Anyone who does work on the sabbath day shall be put to death." Draxamus: The sabbath will be either Saturday or Sunday depending on whether you're Jewish or Christian. I'd go with the whole weekend just to be safe. So if you know anyone working on the weekend, you're going to have to cleanse them from the community by way of death. Exodus 32:25-29 ---------------- When Moses realized that, to the scornful joy of their foes, Aaron had let the people run wild, he stood at the gate of the camp and cried, "Whoever is for the Lord, let him come to me!" All the Levites then rallied to him, and he told them, "Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel: Put your sword on your hip, every one of you! Now go up and down the camp, fron gate to gate, and slay your own kinsmen, your friends and neighbors!" The Levites carried out the command of Moses, and that day fell about three thousand of the people. Then Moses said "Today you have been dedicated to the LORD, for you were against your own sons and kinsmen, to bring a blessing upon yourselves this day" Footnotes: "The calf...a feast of the Lord(referring to Exodus 32:5):" from this it is clear that the golden calf was intended as an image, not of a false god, but of the Lord himself, his strength being symbolized by the strength of the young bull. The Israelites, however, had been forbidden to represent the Lord under any visible form. "Slay Your own kinsmen:" those who are especially guilty of the idolatry. Draxamus: See anyone with a picture of God, and he's gotta' die. Leviticus 18:23 ---------------- "You shall not have carnal relations with an animal, defiling yourself with it; nor shall a woman set herself in front of an animal to mate with it; such things are abhorrent." Draxamus: The message here is clear. Don't fuck animals. Leviticus 18:24-25 ------------------- "Do not defile yourselves by any of these things by which the nations whom I am driving out of your way have defiled themselves. Because their land has become defiled. I am punishing it for its wickedness, by making it vomit out its inhabitants." Draxamus: This passage was included, because I liked the way this translation used the word "vomit." Leviticus 20:13 ---------------- "If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them shall be put to death for their abominable deed; they have forfeited their lives." Draxamus: In this passage God is telling us that all homos must die. Leviticus 24:13-16 ------------------- The LORD said to Moses, "Take the blasphemer outside the camp, and when all who heard him have laid their hands on his head, let the whole community stone him. Tell the Israelites: Anyone who curses his God shall bear the penalty of his sin; whoever blasphemes the name of the LORD shall be put to death. The whole community shall stone him; alien and native alike must be put to death for blaspheming the LORD's name." Draxamus: Blasphemy, that would be like someone saying "God Damnit." So if you hear someone saying "God Damnit," you are to take him outside, and pummel him with stones until his body is devoid of life. 1 Corinthians 11:3 ------------------- But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and a husband the head of his wife, and God the head of Christ. Footnotes: "A husband the head of his wife:" the specific problem suggests to Paul the model of the head as a device for clarifying relations within a hierarchical structure. The model is similar to that developed later in greater detail and nuance in Eph 5, 21-23. It is a hybrid model, for it grafts onto a strictly theological scale of existence (cf 1 Cor 3, 21-23) the hierarchy of the sociosexual relations prevalent in the ancient world: men, dominant, reflect the active function of Christ in relation to his church; women, submissive, reflect the passive role of the church with respect to its savior. This gives us the functional scale: God, Christ, man, woman. Draxamus: Jesus bows down to his Daddy. Men bow down to Christ. And women bow down to the all mighty MAN. Conclusion ----------- God is a merciless killing machine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (C)2003 NGSAM Contact: AIM SN: floofykins ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-